Questions to Help You Get Unstuck | Part 1
In keeping with the previous piece, on the importance of having good questions to keep close, here’s a few more that I’ve picked up along the way from various people.
I’ve found them to be valuable, as tools to get you unstuck, to get you moving to a different pace or direction — one that’s hopefully more right for you. Some of these may be considered serious, profound – deep. But isn’t that why you ask questions in the first place? To get to the bottom of things?
OK. Let’s get started.
#1 What sparks your interest, your curiosity?
Cliché, I know. And it’s a simple one. Clichés and simple things are often overlooked. They don’t warrant a second glance; we don’t think about them that much. Simple questions remind me of this passage from Milan Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being:
“Indeed, the only truly serious questions are the ones that even a child can formulate. Only the most naive of questions are truly serious. They are the questions with no answers. A question with no answer is a barrier that cannot be breached. In other words, it is questions with no answers that set the limits of human possibilities, describe the boundaries of human existence.”
Now that’s a pretty philosophical take on it. And “What sparks your curiosity?” is hardly philosophical. And it’s not a “question with no answer.” It can be answered. And the answers will vary to each and everyone of us.
But if you’re finding that you have no answer to this question yet, or that it feels incomplete or half-hearted, then that is a barrier that can be breached. A boundary you can get past to, in order to move forward. Or as the cliché goes, to “expand your horizons.”
A lot of things start with just being curious. So I figured I’d start here.
#2 “What risk are you more comfortable taking?” / “What would you regret more?”
Risk is everywhere. Whether you choose to do this, or do that. Or not do anything at all. Each decision or non-decision comes with a risk. It’s matter of choosing what risk you’re more comfortable taking.
Say you have a dream of traveling the world (ugh, clichés!). But you’re unsure about how things will go. You worry about the people you’ll leave behind, your work and income, and the challenges and uncertainties that lie ahead. Top it off with friends, family, and co-workers being worried about you. Some even discouraging you, throwing up images of all the things that could possibly go wrong.
Would you push through? Or would you heed the warnings and possible perils and stay at home, keep the stream of income, keep the stability? Let’s go through each of these options.
Option #1: You go traveling the world. But things get difficult and challenging along the way; comfort is stripped away. Imagine things go wrong (don’t go too crazy here; you don’t want to scare yourself too much), but you get home in one piece, with a mix of good and bad experiences. The potential risks here of course are too many to mention. But the thing is, the rewards are equally abundant as well.
Option #2: You decided to just stay home, and put off your dream for a later time. There’s not much risk here apart from your normal everyday life risks — reckless drivers in your commute to work, burnout, a monotonous feeling pervading your weeks, and oversleeping on the weekends. And of course, the risk of regretting that you didn’t go.
What risks are you more comfortable taking? What would you regret more?
Risk is everywhere. It’s important to be aware of them, so we can be more deliberate with making decisions, and minimize the chances of regret. For me, I’d like to think that I’d rather go with the risk of uncertainty than risk not doing anything at all.
#3 “Hell Yeah or no?”
“Use this rule if you’re often over-committed or too scattered,” says Derek Sivers.
This question can help you make sure that you only commit to things that are truly important to you and that deep down you actually want to do or pursue.
If it doesn’t feel like a “Hell Yeah!”… then maybe it’s a no.
#4 “What would you do even if you knew you would fail? What would be worth doing even if things might not work out?”
One thing I didn’t get to point out in last week’s post is that another function of this question is being a regret minimizer. Whatever path or pursuit it is that becomes your answer to this question, you know and accept that things might not work out, or go as planned. You’ve already accepted that and are OK with it.
So now the path itself becomes the thing; the work itself is its own reward. In the end, regardless of the outcome, you’ll (hopefully) be happy you tried.
OK. That’s it for now. I have a few more questions coming, so stay tuned! Now, any questions?
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